London is one of the most expensive cities in the world. If you want to know what something will cost here–from a packet of tea to a month’s rent on a flat–you need only apply a simple three-step process. One, write down a reasonable price in dollars. Two, erase the “$” and replace it with “£.” Three, weep–because £1 is worth roughly $1.60.
As a result, a single salary isn’t enough to keep two people in tea and crumpets, but in the half a year that we’ve been in England, I haven’t yet found steady work. True, I’ve been doing bits and pieces of freelance writing, and making slow progress on finding a more steady writing job. Unfortunately, our landlady will not accept payment in the form of steady progress.

I’m therefore spending today looking at website with job listings. One of the first to catch my eye is “asbestos operative.” I don’t know what that is, but it sounds like fun. No doubt it involves being coated in a high-tech fireproof material, given a superhero name and assigned to a super-secret branch of the British government. Unfortunately, the pay is only £8 per hour. If I’m going to be risking my life to defend London from the orbiting laser platform of the evil Black Lung, I expect to make more than that.
But my interest in crime-fighting has been piqued, and so I turn to a website called Police Oracle, which lists law enforcement jobs that are open to civilians. A listing for “Anti-social Behavior Co-ordinator” catches my eye. Maybe I’m being too ambitious by even considering such a position; maybe I should get some sort of entry-level job in looting and rioting, rather than leaping into a management position. On the other hand, I’m a hard worker, and I’m willing to pillage on nights and weekends until I get the hang of it.
Then I read the job description, and it turns out to being an Anti-social Behavior Co-ordinator is exactly the opposite of what the job title implies. Well, where’s the fun in that?
I try one more website, and find the following:

Debt Recovery Agents – 5 vacancies throughout London £30,000 OTE
We are currently seeking Field Based Debt Recovery Executives for a leading London based utilities provider. This position requires a tenacious and trustworthy individual with a confident presence who can negotiate successfully in pressurised situations. As this is a field based role a certain degree of fitness will be required.

Now, here is a job I can sink my teeth into. I have taken three or four classes in the Brazilian martial art of capoeira, so I’m more or less a human killing machine, and I’ve seen Guy Ritchie’s first two movies, so I know all about the colorful and charming characters whom I’ll be beating up.
And I thought finding a job in a foreign country was going to be hard.