Today, I present two more food-related photos. Warning: One of them is mildly not-safe-for work.
My wife took the first of these photos. It’s commonly supposed that Milton’s major monument is in Poet’s Corner, in Westminster Abbey. But his real monument can be found in the village of Chalfont St. Giles, across the street from the cottage in which he wrote Paradise Lost:
Although there is no historic plaque testifying to the fact, I like to believe that this is the very same restaurant from which Milton would order a curry after a late night of boozing and poetry. I further surmise that Paradise Lost originally told the story not of Satan but of Satay, until a stray bit of peanut sauce transformed the “y” into an “n.” (It should be noted that Milton was a distinctly unpopular customer at the Milton Thai House, thanks to his habit of writing “They also serve who only stand and wait” on the credit card receipt in place of an actual tip.)
Currently, the Milton Thai Restaurant doesn’t seem to have a motto. May I respectfully suggest “To Justify The Ways Of Pad Thai Man”?
Speaking of food, the second photo provides further evidence of the British inability to come up with appetizing product names:
Remember: small children can choke on nuts.
Sadly, this unique zoological byproduct turns out to be ordinary peanuts:
This leaves me with two questions. First, is the name “Roasted monkey nuts” less giggle-inducing to a Brit than to a Yank? And, second, why did I never realize until now just how silly a word “peanuts” is?
The reason Roasted Monkey Nuts doesn’t have quite the same snigger-effect for the British is because our preferred slang for testicles is balls raher than nuts. Hence why I am unaware of any product called Roasted Monkey Balls.
Which is much the same reason we can get away with Spotted Dick as the name of a pudding – Spotted Willy on the other hand would have had them rolling in the aisles.
Ah, there’s nothing like sophisticated humour.
I was recently listening to the commentary track on the pilot episode of Futurama, and David Cohen (I believe) commented that the word “Underpants” was 20% funnier than “Underwear”. I wonder what percentage “Roasted Monkey Nuts” earns over “Honey Roasted Peanuts”.
And the previous comment just goes to show that Americans have more culture – we laugh at BOTH Balls and Nuts. Bloody colonials.
So, Ian, would Herhsey’s Malted Milk Balls–a favorite candy of my childhood–be hilarious to a Brit?
I don’t know about that, but I do know that the Austrian manufacturers of Mozartkugeln, a form of chocolate confectionery, had to be dissuaded at the last minute from marketing them in Britain as ‘Mozart’s Balls’.
Milton’s Thai Restaurant is probably an off-shoot of ‘The Olde Elizabthan Tandoori Restaurant’ in a suburb of Brighton ,which reduces me and my beloved to helpless hysterical laughter every time we pass it. I’ll try and remember to take a picture next time we’re in Brighton.
It is rumoured that Shakespeare wrote his first draft of ‘The Scottish Play’ here, and the famous line ‘Double double, toil and trouble’ was a mis-print.
In fact, after a particularly spicy Chicken Vindaloo,with extra chili, what WS had in fact written was:-
‘Double, Double, toilet trouble’.
I believe the technical term for Milton’s justificatory exercise is “Thaiodicy.” Also, you neglected to mention Blake’s famous criticism that Milton made the character of Satan/y more delicious than that of God.
Thaiodicy? My god. I believe that, in terms of years-of-education-required-per-syllabe, that is the single most expensive pun in history.
In any case, the Blake/Milton rivalry is well known, and has its roots in the famous glowing review that Blake gave to Milton’s restaurant arch-rival, the Thai Grill:
Thai Grill, Thai Grill, burning bright,
near the Wood Green Tube (turn right).
What immortal hand or eye
could frame thy spicy shrimp pad thai?
Actually, you forgot to properly source Blake’s criticism — it’s from his book, “The Melange of Hoisin and Veal.”