My US address seems to have gotten on some sort of odd mailing list. I received the following letter in the mail:

Dear Jacob,
This is a personal letter just to you. Notice: this is not a mass mailing; this letter came to you by first-class mail, not by third-class bulk mail. This is not a solicitation for money. In fact, you will get something of immense value from us absolutely free with no strings attached… Jacob, please keep what I tell you a secret, because this information is confidential. These words are meant for you only

This is Jacob again. I hope you’re paying attention. The letter was sent by first class mail. That means that everything it says is true. And if that’s not convincing enough, the letter actually addresses me by name at multiple points. If this weren’t a personal letter, how could they possibly do that?

There has existed for many years an exclusive association, a secret society, of the world’s most famous and powerful people. These include renowned actors and musicians, leading scientists and intellectuals, self-made entrepreneurs and artists, millionaires, professional gamblers, Casanovas, statesmen. Many of these people you would instantly recognize. Before I go on, let me state that everything you read here is absolutely and verifiably true.
This association has uncovered some shockingly powerful secrets. And they share these secrets only amongst themselves. In fact, these secrets are the reason these well-known individuals have achieved great prosperity.
Jacob, I have some incredibly exciting news to share with you. Members of this association ahve analyzed your profile (you’d be unbelievably flatterred if you knew who tehse individuals were). Please forgive them, but they’ve discovered something special about you.
It seems you, Jacob, possess several rare traits they are searching for. Because of these traits, which we’ll talk about later, the have chosen you to become part of their exclusive club and to share their secrets, too, absolutely free! By the way, as you read this, you may be saynig to yourself that this is all a bunch of hooey. But I swear on a stack of Bible [sic] this is all true!

At this point, I was convinced. Anybody could put together a stack of Bibles. But somebody who could make a stack consisting of a single Bible must have uncanny powers indeed! And if that’s not convincing enough, it includes a testimonial from “a TV celebrity and copywriter” who won’t reveal his name, so we can’t know which of the millions of famous, erm, copywriters he is. But he has lost weight, become irresistible to beautiful women, and made millions of dollars using the secrets of the “Nouveau Tech Society,” which could be mine absolutely free.
So, obviously, this letter is entirely true and accurate. But why does everybody else on the web seem to think Nouveau Tech is a total scam? Stop being so cynical, people. When has a world famous copywriter ever lied to you?