I am a freelance contributor to the Onion, meaning that I occasionally submit headlines to them. If they like ’em, they hang on to ’em, and some of them become Onion articles.
However, every time I submit, there are always a few I especially like that don’t make the cut. In order that they may have some sort of life, I’m occasionally going to post my favorite rejected Onion headlines.
The creme of this week’s rejected crop:
• Konami Unveils Video Game Controller Shaped Like Video Game Console
• Sims LARPer Just Living Normal Life
• Olympics Followup: Officials Admit First-Ever Winter Marathon Was Bad Idea; Search For Survivors Continues