In an effort to encourage participation in democracy, the British government is having a trial of an electronic petition system. Many of the most popular ones are for frivolous causes like changing the tax structure or repealing certain laws.
Fortunately, there are some Britons with their priorities straight. Among the fifty most-popular petitions is this one, signed by 3060 patriots:
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stand on his head and juggle ice-cream.
Almost as popular is this one, signed by 2,485 music lovers:
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to replace the national anthem with ‘Gold’ by Spandau Ballet.
We, the people of Britain, feel that our current National Anthem has lost a bit of its sparkle.
When we are confronted by the rare occasion of us winning a medal at the Olympics, we all have to mumble through “God Save The Queen”, well God help us in 2012!
We would thereby like to table the suggestion that we change the National Anthem to something more modern and appropriate and that will re-invigorate our pride.
What we specifically want to see, is that the National Anthem be changed in favour of “Gold” by Spandau Ballet.
Further, we would like our National Olympic Committee to decree that Tony Hadley is the only person permitted to handle medal ceremonies where the National Anthem is played.
We don’t mind what he wears when he does this, but preference is given towards a a gold colured suit.
Fortunately, the Government is vigilantly ensuring that no frivolous petitions sneak in along with such noble causes. A plea to ban “dyhydrogen monoxide” (also known as “water”) was rejected because “It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy.”
My favorite petition, though, is this one, because I’m dying to know the story behind it:
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to End the rules of male primogenture with regard to succession to the Earldom of Stirling via a Resettlement-by-Letters Patent to the current Lord Stirling.
Submitted by Earl of Stirling of Clan Alexander
Well it is a very long story but I can give you some brief details. Like you I am an American only living in southwest Indiana. I was the Honorary Scottish Editor at Burke’s Peerage almost 20 years ago. About 1990 I claimed an important dormant set of Scottish titles in my family; in August 1999 I used a Scottish Peerage Law procedure, an Assumption-at-Law, to call the titles out of dormancy. As my wife died young of ovarian cancer and we had not yet had any children and I have not remarried, I petitioned the Queen to end the male only rules of succession to my titles via another Scottish Peerage Law procedure called a Resettlement-by-Letters Patent. My sister is barred from succession due to her gender and our younger brother is unmarried without direct heirs. I was allowed to sit in the Peers Gallery on the floor of the House of Lords in December 1999 as Lord Stirling. However, as a Resettlement “has the effect of a new grant” and as the new rules in the “reformed” House of Lords allow hereditary peers of the first creation to receive a life peerage (and a voting seat in the House of Lords) I offered to sit as a working peer in the Labour Party. I DID NOT offer to “donate” any money to the Labour Party. That is where the trouble started. Blair and his team were taking “donations” of over one million pounds for a life peerage and I was claiming an hereditary earldom, two viscountcies, two Lordships of Parliament, a Nova Scotian baronetcy, a clan chiefship, and several hereditary great offices-of-state in Canada (the first Earl was the founder of English speaking Canada in the early 17th Century), plus a life peerage, the Blair government did not want to just “give” me the titles regardless of the law, history, my family history, or tradition. At one point they even lied about a non-existent clause in the Peerage Act of 1963 saying that Assumptions had be outlawed. This was easy to disprove with the wording of the actual Act itself. They often quoted English Peerage Law instead of Scots Peerage Law in my case, but in the end I have successfully claimed my clans titles. With the Royal Warrant establishing the Roll of the Peerage they effectively cannot challenge my succession. I have provided considerable evidence to the Yates detective team heading up the cash-for-peerages inquiry. I simply would NOT allow them to bully me into a massive donation. I have won in the end and now the jackasses are on their way out. However they have still not approved ending the male only rules of succession. As this is a matter of human rights under EU Law and under several treaties signed by the UK I have the right to bring rather substantial civil lawsuits against the Prime Minister and the Lord Chancellor in the courts of several nations and their governmental immunity does not apply in matters of human rights violations (hence their personal assets are on the line). Hope you liked the story.
Stirling
you call yourself a peer. yet you threaten to bring lawsuits. and i don’t think there is anything more BOURGEOIS than bringing a lawsuit. if certain laws have been “broken” with respect to you….then they are stupid laws which should not be enforced. at least not in your case. if you feel that you have been the “victim” of certain “torts,” then….SUCK IT UP!!!! as a nobleman, you should serve as an example for the rest of society. in other words, instead of bitching and complaining, just SHUT UP. stiff upper lip, old chap. as they say………………………………..
p.s.–i’ve never filed a lawsuit in my life and i hope that i never will. were i to become the “victim” of a “tort,” i hope that i would have the courage to suffer in silence and not to bear any ill will toward the so-called “perpetrator” of the tort. to act otherwise would be….LESS than magnanimous, and quite GAUCHE at that.