There are certain indisputable truths in this world. Freedom is better than slavery. A just peace is better than an unjust war. And the gooey middle part of a brownie is better than the dryer edge part of a brownie.
Clearly, though, there are some savages unable to accept at least one of these truths. As evidence, I submit The Edge Brownie Pan, specially designed to give you a brownie that is nothing but edge pieces.
The Government Manual for New Pirates is now shipping from Amazon, and I imagine that it will be in real-life bookstores at any moment.
In honor of this momentous occasion, Matthew and I are pleased to unveil The Official Website of the Pirate Government. Of particular utility is the Automatic Pirate Curse Generator, which will provide you with an entirely new, randomly generated curse every time you load the page.
There is a Swiss website called UN Jobs, which, true to its name, lists such positions as “Program Officer, Kabul: World Food Program.”
I have recently discovered that it has one page dedicated to me, and another dedicated to Matthew David Brozik, my co-author on the Government Manual series.
Why? I don’t know. I can only speculate that The Government Bureau of Superheroics and The Enchantment Administration have been taken over by the UN. Either that, or Matthew has signed us both up to be radio operators in Qalat, Afghanistan without telling me.
As a counterpoint to the current hysteria over video games, Wired has a great article about the hysterical reactions to various scourges of the past:
“The indecent foreign dance called the Waltz was introduced … at the English Court on Friday last … It is quite sufficient to cast one’s eyes on the voluptuous intertwining of the limbs, and close compressure of the bodies … to see that it is far indeed removed from the modest reserve which has hitherto been considered distinctive of English females. So long as this obscene display was confined to prostitutes and adulteresses, we did not think it deserving of notice; but now that it is … forced on the respectable classes of society by the evil example of their superiors, we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion.”
– The Times of London, 1816
According to a new study by Princeton University researchers, stocks with easily pronounceable names and ticker-tape symbols do better in their IPOs. I suppose this explains why my attempted launch of Mrs. Smith’s Fresh Fish Sauce Shop and Sauteed Squid Shack did not do as well as hoped.
If you look over to the right-hand side of Yankee Fog, you’ll see that I am now an officially registered superhero. Once upon a time, obtaining this exalted certification required hours of grueling testing, but thanks to the miracles of modern technology, it can now be obtained instantaneously at the Bureau of Superheroics Online Superhero Registry.
I’ve been a big fan of singer/songwriter Jonathan Coulton ever since I heard Bacteria, his techno-remix of a Kentucky Fried Chicken food safety video. His songs download page is a place of riches– I especially recommend Ikea, Furry Old Lobster, and his soulful cover of Baby Got Back. And if you are geeky enough to think you might possibly like a song called Mandelbrot Set, well, then, you definitely will.
He’s now released his first video, and it’s charming and funny. It’s called Flickr, and appropriately enough, it’s assembled entirely out of images he found on flickr.com.
I just found a fascinating and lengthy interview with Alan Moore, one of my favorite writers. And speaking of favorites, here’s my favorite quote from the interview:
Why were you trying to challenge your audience? What have they ever done to you? I prefer seduction, hypnosis, I don’t want to scream at my audience and demand that they understand my gemlike pearls of wisdom. I once said that a good way to describe my approach to writing is that in the story, in the telling of it, the dialogue, the characters, I introduce myself to the reader, I talk to them interestingly, fascinatingly, calmingly, I get them to sort of follow me up the alleyways of the narrative until they are so far within it that they probably can’t find their way out, and then you can do whatever you want to them.
If you are deeply interested in donning skintight spandex and fighting crime–which is to say, if you are a normal human being–you might want to visit The Government Bureau of Superheroics.
I recently stumbled across an online textbook seller who is offering The Government Manual for New Superheroes for sale right next to other reference works like “Grade 10 Testing Reading and Writing Workbook” . I was especially amused to see that even a volume aimed at costumed crimefighters is subject to the same markup that applies to all textbooks–this guy is selling the Government Manual for a full $4 above the cover price.
I like to imagine some teacher clicking the wrong button and buying two dozen copies of our book when she meant to buy “Government in Canada,” and then having to structure her curriculum around us, instead.