Thank you to the family, friends, and concerned readers who have e-mailed to make sure Lauren and I are fine. Thankfully, we are. We hope the same is true for you and your loved ones.

When Lauren got tickets to go see Live8 on one of the giant screens set up around Hyde Park, I admit it: I was skeptical. I couldn’t quite understand why we had to brave massive crowds and potentially miserable weather to watch a concert on a TV screen when we could stay home and do the same. But good husband that I am, I went along. I’m glad I did.
The huge TV, the powerful sound system, and the spirit of the crowd all delivered an experience I couldn’t have gotten at home. More importantly, though, the highlight of the day was a moment that you had to be there to experience:
Occasionally, in the downtime between performers in London, the giant screen would cut to a concert in another city. At one point, it cut to the concert in Berlin, where Brian Wilson was performing and the German audience was singing along. The crowd around me joined in, and for just a moment, Hyde Park was filled with thousands of Brits, joined together with thousands of Germans, all singing: “I wish they all could be California girls…”

A Short Poem, Inspired By The Local Pronounciation of A Certain Location in London
by Jacob Sager Weinstein
One day, as the Queen walked through Leicester
Square, she ran into a jeicester
who fondled her cheicest.
She exclaimed, “I’ll be bleicest!”
then hanged the man as a moleicester.

Not only did The Sun break the news that the Queen recently bought an iPod–they’ve got the best illustration for the story, as well:

(A previous entry regarding the Queen’s rock-and-roll nature may be found here.)

Good news for Londoners: our fair city’s bid to host the 2012 Olympics has been officially endorsed by space aliens, as proven by this shocking crop circle photo captured by The Sun:

Further details of this breaking story can be found at The Sun’s website.

The Chunnel trains currently arrive in Waterloo Station, making “Waterloo” the first place a Frenchman will visit on his arrival in the UK. I can’t prove it, but I’ve always suspected this is deliberate piss-taking by the Brits.
Sadly, not all decision makers share that cheeky sense of humor. In a bid to avoid offending England’s neighbor across the Channel, an upcoming re-enactment of the Battle of Trafalgar will not feature the British defeating the French. Instead, it will commemorate that historic day when the Red Team defeated the Blue Team.

Alas, I have once again failed to make it to one of Great Britains’ most moving and important traditions: the Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling. Fortunately, the brave cheese runners carried on without me, even if it meant bruises, abrasions, and broken bones. Some see the perpetuation of cheese rolling as a continuity with ancient pagan practices; I see it as evidence that lawsuit culture has not yet taken hold here with the same fervor it has in the US.

I’ve lived in London long enough that most of the archetypal US/UK differences no longer catch my eye; I look to the right when crossing the street, and it now seems more natural to say “flat” than “apartment.” But there’s one thing that still strikes me several times a week: the English walk their dogs differently than we do.
In the US, you generally keep your dog on a lead–er, I mean, a “leash.” And if you let your dog run free, you generally let him run in front of you so you can keep an eye on him.
Here, though, leashes are the exception, rather than the rule. And the proper way of walking your dog seems to be to stroll forward while he gambols behind you–sometimes as much as a quarter of a mile behind you. The result is that one frequently sees dogs trotting through the street, seemingly unattached to any human being, but there’s no way of telling if they’re lost or just a block or two behind their human.
Are English dog owners too careless, or American ones over-protective? I have no idea.

Matt Kirkby’s video for Basement Jaxx’s “You Don’t Know Me” is a fascinating and accurate peek into a little-known facet of the Royal Family. (It’s also a little NSFW in one spot.)

A reporter in Haltemprice & Howden just announced that one of the candidates “is afraid he’s going to lose his deposit.” I have no idea what that means, but it doesn’t sound like fun
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So far, there’s been a lot of focus on the Labour, Conservative, and Liberal Democrat parties, but the BBC has been suspiciously silent on the real question of the evening: how is the Official Monster Raving Loony Party doing? I don’t remember how many votes they got in Sunderland South–I think it was about 150– but I can report that their candidate listened to the results wearing a giant inflatable innertube.
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Now they’re announcing the results from Rutherglen & Hamilton West, in Scotland. One thing I think the US should borrow from the Brits is having more of our results announced in rich Scottish burrs. This constituency also went for Labour. (There didn’t seem to be an Official Monster Raving Loony Party member standing for parliament in this borough, so I can’t tell you if the innertube is part of the party’s official uniform.)
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The American commentator has clearly lived in the UK for a while; apart from his in-depth knowledge of UK politics, he just said, “We’re not going to be banging on about the exit polls tonight”–I don’t think I’ve ever heard a fellow Yankee say “not going to be banging on about…”